So you’ve figured out what type of village suits you best, but naming it doesn’t necessarily build it. It’s necessary to spend time reflecting who is best to put in your village. When I’ve worked with others to build their village, some assume that I’m listing different types of friendships that need to be in their circle — yes and no. Your village is your community. Your community is built around a group of people that have your back and want the best for you. You get to be picky about the specific role you give each villager! And if that person isn’t in your village, that doesn’t mean they can’t be your friend. It just means that you don’t lean on them for a specific role that you’ve intentionally identified. Our goal here is to build the strongest group of villagers around you to help you be the best you.
Our goal here is to build the strongest group of villagers around you to help you be the best you.Lindsay Bridges, Building Bridges
Let’s identify the best villagers:
- the advocate: This person will always support you! This person wants you to succeed in everything you do and they will cheer you on to the finish line the whole way through. They are protective, in your corner, and will fight for you.
- the confidant: Some would think of this person as in a therapist role. You find yourself sharing information with this person that you wouldn’t share with others. Here’s the key part: they keep it confidential!
- the mentor: Is there someone in your industry that inspires you? Is there a person in your company that you want to learn from? This is the type of person that wants to bring someone younger (maybe not in age, but in experience too) under their wings and help them find their way.
- the fun one: Everyone needs a person that they can call up and go on an adventure. The person that’s always up for whatever and reminds you that life is still fun! There’s nothing better than breaking up the hard parts of life with a brunch buddy, a hiking partner, or a road trip friend.
- the challenger: This can be a tough one for some of us. Feedback is hard, but is necessary to continue to grow. This person challenges to step out of your comfort zone, makes you think from a different perspective, or asks you the hard questions that no one else will.
- the comforter: Life can be hard and sometimes a little overwhelming. It helps to know that there’s a person you can vent to, get it off your chest, and then in all they are, they empathize, care for, love you, and give you a hug to say that tomorrow’s a new day and a new try.
Take a moment and write down your list of villagers.
Who’s who and what is their role? People can fill multiple roles, but I would challenge you by questioning if that’s the easy way out for you.
Have an empty role? Keep your eyes peeled for people in your life that you can invite them in to your village.
Maybe today you only have a village of three or four. That’s okay. Who would be on your list if you had the best village in the world?
Let’s spend a little time dreaming about who would be the best village around you to help you be your best person and then let’s go find them!